Henry Rollins: The One Decision that Changed My Life Forever
My philosophy of saying “yes” to things when they come my way stems from the wisdom I’ve learned from this man, Henry Rollins.
I spent the 1990s is a fog of confusion, depression, self-doubt, and suicidal ideation. Gender dysphoria was the cherry on top of the working-class life I grew up in. I was not as sharp as Hank though. I had no interest in the real world, the America™. I just wanted five consecutive minutes to not hate every fiber of my being so that I could focus on doing something creative for a bit. It took me until I was thirty years old before I managed to resolve my gender identity issues enough to be able to go do some of the things my peers had already done a decade earlier.
I’ve regressed a bit over the last five years due to no steady income, overwhelming student loan debt, and social isolation. The self-doubt returned. The depression returned. I know that the most the America™ will likely ever offer me is a minimum wage job at probably an arts and crafts store, a shitty apartment, and no friends. When I was younger, I always wondered how people wound up working such shit jobs in their 40s and 50s. How badly had they fucked up to be in that position? Well, now I know.
I persevere by staying focused on the things that matter to me: being creative, keeping my mind sharp and my body fit. I push myself to keep drawing my comics better each day, and to cultivate a solid work ethic. I’ve been drawing and telling stories since I was old enough to take a crayon to paper. This is what I want to do in my life, and I’m incredibly fortunate that I am doing it.
I’ve been handed a lottery ticket of sorts with this invitation to attend SDCC next week. I don’t know what will come of it, but I will do what I can to make it work for me. And if all goes well, in the future I’ll be able to make it work for others who want to make their dreams of writing and drawing stories come true.
If it doesn’t happen, I guess there will always be retail. And what a drag that would be.